My Son and Children's Disability/Special Needs

                                                                                         June 7, 2014

Around my son's second birthday,  his Grandmother started to mention that he seemed behind on certain skills. The word Autistic was used in conversation and I immediately got defensive. I still took her words and looked at him to see if I saw some kind of issues. I agreed there were some behavioral stuff that just didn't seem right. I arranged a educational evaluation before he was two and a half years old. I made the evaluation without the knowledge of my son's mother, who was at that point the custodial parent. My son was too young for the educators to say anything was wrong and he did perform good for them in their defense.

Around a year later, Grandfather was spending time with him during the Summer without me and Grandfather would call me everyday. Grandfather would say there is something wrong with my son because he is way too hyper, and "Turbo" is going to be my son's new nickname. Shortly after the Summer, I received full custody of my son and I found him to be extremely aggressive and hyper. I immediately took him to the doctor where the doctor stated it looks like ADHD. I was told to get a evaluation done.

Evaluations have shown my son to have high anxiety, high energy and other emotional issues. I have felt doctors scared to give the ADHD diagnosis due to his age. It took close to a year to gain the proper support and it still falls short. My son has periods of high tension where he is aggressively in your face, and he won't stop.  My son makes loud noises, for reasons only he knows, and he cannot sit still for more than 2-3 minutes without help. There is plenty of other weird behavior he does; maybe,  I will cover some of it in a future post.

The struggle of a parent dealing with a child that has a behavioral need/disability is tremendous. You have to be able to watch for patterns to try and calm the bad periods down to a more normal level. I have zero control over the outbursts and it has been one of the toughest parts of it all for me and my family. Doctors can only help to a certain point then you are on your own. There are wrap around programs and other services, but finding a male centered environment is close to impossible.

Finally at close to five years of age, the school tested my son and came back that he might have ADHD. Then they suggested less school time to help him. They are still having him go less hours going into his next year. Most normal kids get a full day of school, five days a week unless there is a holiday or something special going on. When school is giving your kid back for several of those days or only taking your kid for an hour or two, it can really impede a parent's ability to do anything and I question how much can a kid to learn in that short of time. Schools don't want him in their extra care programs which I find disturbing.

I am displeased with the local school system because I don't think enough is being done for children with disabilities. I had to enlist a childcare service without an educational aspect to due my finances and I have found myself in rooms with educators that I don't think really understand my struggles. I have a kid with issues and no support to help through all his difficult periods, and school is failing my son, in my opinion.

My advice to a person at the beginning with a small child that appears to have a disability, I would get them to the doctor's early on. I should have taken my son while my son's mother had custody. I could have taken him as an emergency because it was really just that, an emergency. My son's mother failed to even acknowledge his early signs, so he didn't get the proper care while living with his mother.

I am still struggling with my son's disability, but I found extra support and it helps me in handling my current issues involving my son.  I have done lots of searching and I will hopefully post some of the things I take him to do and other helpful groups or links that I have to help those looking for information.