May 29, 2014
One of the parts of my story is about my case with the Department of Justice(DOJ) Child Support Division. I would like to start off by saying I never tried to fight the DOJ Child Support Division and always had a good attitude when dealing with them and my experience with the agency was good overall. Maybe the best way to put dealing with the DOJ Child Support Division is that "you give respect and you'll get respect."
Close to a year after my son's birth, I received documents stating that a case was being opened against me. By the time the documents came, I was already in the hole for thousands of dollars because the money builds even while you are unaware a case is open. The DOJ Child Support Division was sending mail everywhere looking for me. The DOJ Child Support Division sent scary statements about stopping my license or Passport and other statements, but I just read it and settled down to think about my options. I will admit that I was very worried about being on the tab for lots of money and thinking that my son's mother was just sitting there not paying anything. My son's mother was receiving the money and it was not being appropriately spent on my son, but instead on his siblings or herself. Also, I had to provide for my son when he came to visit me.
My game plan was to go to DOJ Child Support Division and explain my financial situation to them. I brought in any documents they needed to show my income and I explained my monthly bills to them and what I could afford to pay them. My payment amount was far less than what they wanted, and they did make me sign a contract that was re-viewable. I believe the payment contract was re-viewable at 3 months, 6 months and 1 year. The main point is that they were willing to work with me and they would probably be willing to work with any parent that wants to be in good standing with them. Working with the DOJ Child Support Division allowed all my legal privileges to remain the same and it did make me feel better knowing I was doing my part. Every month I walked in my payment before the due date, for several years. If I had more to give, they gladly accepted it without adjustments needed to the contract. The arrears do grow, so you are still responsible for the money that adds up, but paying as you can is helpful.
There is more to my story including that I no longer have to pay child support. A few years ago my son was given to me by the Department of Human Services, Child Protection Services and the Child Welfare Division, due to a bad living situation with his mother which is a story I will cover soon in future posts. The closing out of an account requires both parties agreement to end seeking payments and it can take over a year. I chose not to seek child support from my son's mother because I knew she was broke at the time. I understand that many other men never get to see the document I have that closed the case, I am grateful for having my son and that I get to see him enjoy everything I give him, the time spent with him and that i get to ensure he has proper care on a daily basis.
Oregon Dads need a site that can provide lots of information and tools for their success in parenting. I will be using this blog to give lots of information for all parents, but a I focus on trying to help Dads all over Oregon. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me: oregondadsconnection@gmail.com
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Oregon Supplemental Rule 8.075, Mediation, and Filing for Custody
May 28, 2014
I guess it is best to start off with my story before I can give information to help. I will divide my story into several readable sections that I will cover over several posts.
My son was born five years ago, and I was with the mother. Less than three months into his life, I ended up split from my son's mother. I was new to the whole being a father thing, and she helped to make me a part time father, at best, almost immediately. I was unaware of my rights and not prepared for court, among other life issues at the time and I thought maybe things would change.
During my life outside of the house, I received word that my son was potentially not being treated right by his mother and other people in the house including older siblings. I started to think about what to do, but I was still uninformed and afraid to use the legal process. I was seeing my son at his mother's descretion which was a couple of hours each week if that. Close to the two year mark, my son's mother robbed me of seeing him for three weeks claiming excuses that I didn't believe and fearing my son's health and welfare, I ran down to the courthouse to obtain custody/visitation papers. Some of my family's advice was not to file, so I held them back until the next time his mother gave me a problem.
Shortly after getting the papers, my son was almost two years old and his mother was saying that I couldn't take him on trips out of state, and she said that he couldn't stay for a week or longer with me. When she made the threat to me about never letting him stay a week with me, I figured I would let the courts decide and filed papers. Her reasoning was a two year old is too young to spend a week away from its mother which is totally wrong.
Anyways, I filed around my son's second birthday and immediately his mother's behavior changed. I started to get my son every weekend and he was getting to spend nights with no questions asked. To my knowledge, the court always orders mediation for custody cases, with a lawyer or not. Oregon has a standard package called Supplemental Rule 8.075 and I suggest reading up on Oregon Rule 8.075 and letting the mediator know you are informed and you would like that to be your basic starting point for negotiations, but make sure to do it during the opening of mediation. I made the request to follow Oregon Rule 8.075, but I made some changes to the package to get myself some extra time and other changes I felt were needed. The other party might not know the package, so you might have an advantage. If the other parent argued against giving you Oregon Rule 8.075, they would need to have good reason, or they might be considered potentially difficult, and a judge would probably override them if they take it to court and they had no valid reason for being difficult. I don't want to oversimplify things because court can go several ways depending on people involved and their background and other important factors, but there is hope in the family law system for good parents trying to establish their rights if they are willing to use the system.
Either way, I see being prepared as the way to go into the mediation. Also, make sure to read the agreement before signing it. There is nothing like sloppy or tricky wording when the mediator uses their own interpretation of your requests. My suggestion would be to provide the mediator with a written copy of how you want changes worded to fix those type miscommunication problems. I got almost everything I wanted because the other party was just not prepared and might not have fully understood the package I was presenting. My final warning to you is again to make sure you read the agreement well before signing.
My first dealings with the system was pretty cheap. I would say total cost for getting the first Custody/Parenting Plan was around $500 including filing fees, mediation, a parenting class and having the documents served and I think it was well worth the money. The contract gave rules for dealing with the other parent and if they failed to meet enough of the rules, I could call the authorities or file contempt papers. This was not the end of my court experience, but I will end this section before moving on to my next portion.
As a disclaimer, I am not an attorney and not affiliated with any courts. My advice is from my own experience meant for the sole purpose of educating parents of potentially helpful information. The link I am providing is from Polk County and it is a version of their Rule 8.075, so you might be able to get an idea of what your county's Rule 8.075 would look like.
http://courts.oregon.gov/polk/docs/parenting_time.pdf
I guess it is best to start off with my story before I can give information to help. I will divide my story into several readable sections that I will cover over several posts.
My son was born five years ago, and I was with the mother. Less than three months into his life, I ended up split from my son's mother. I was new to the whole being a father thing, and she helped to make me a part time father, at best, almost immediately. I was unaware of my rights and not prepared for court, among other life issues at the time and I thought maybe things would change.
During my life outside of the house, I received word that my son was potentially not being treated right by his mother and other people in the house including older siblings. I started to think about what to do, but I was still uninformed and afraid to use the legal process. I was seeing my son at his mother's descretion which was a couple of hours each week if that. Close to the two year mark, my son's mother robbed me of seeing him for three weeks claiming excuses that I didn't believe and fearing my son's health and welfare, I ran down to the courthouse to obtain custody/visitation papers. Some of my family's advice was not to file, so I held them back until the next time his mother gave me a problem.
Shortly after getting the papers, my son was almost two years old and his mother was saying that I couldn't take him on trips out of state, and she said that he couldn't stay for a week or longer with me. When she made the threat to me about never letting him stay a week with me, I figured I would let the courts decide and filed papers. Her reasoning was a two year old is too young to spend a week away from its mother which is totally wrong.
Anyways, I filed around my son's second birthday and immediately his mother's behavior changed. I started to get my son every weekend and he was getting to spend nights with no questions asked. To my knowledge, the court always orders mediation for custody cases, with a lawyer or not. Oregon has a standard package called Supplemental Rule 8.075 and I suggest reading up on Oregon Rule 8.075 and letting the mediator know you are informed and you would like that to be your basic starting point for negotiations, but make sure to do it during the opening of mediation. I made the request to follow Oregon Rule 8.075, but I made some changes to the package to get myself some extra time and other changes I felt were needed. The other party might not know the package, so you might have an advantage. If the other parent argued against giving you Oregon Rule 8.075, they would need to have good reason, or they might be considered potentially difficult, and a judge would probably override them if they take it to court and they had no valid reason for being difficult. I don't want to oversimplify things because court can go several ways depending on people involved and their background and other important factors, but there is hope in the family law system for good parents trying to establish their rights if they are willing to use the system.
Either way, I see being prepared as the way to go into the mediation. Also, make sure to read the agreement before signing it. There is nothing like sloppy or tricky wording when the mediator uses their own interpretation of your requests. My suggestion would be to provide the mediator with a written copy of how you want changes worded to fix those type miscommunication problems. I got almost everything I wanted because the other party was just not prepared and might not have fully understood the package I was presenting. My final warning to you is again to make sure you read the agreement well before signing.
My first dealings with the system was pretty cheap. I would say total cost for getting the first Custody/Parenting Plan was around $500 including filing fees, mediation, a parenting class and having the documents served and I think it was well worth the money. The contract gave rules for dealing with the other parent and if they failed to meet enough of the rules, I could call the authorities or file contempt papers. This was not the end of my court experience, but I will end this section before moving on to my next portion.
As a disclaimer, I am not an attorney and not affiliated with any courts. My advice is from my own experience meant for the sole purpose of educating parents of potentially helpful information. The link I am providing is from Polk County and it is a version of their Rule 8.075, so you might be able to get an idea of what your county's Rule 8.075 would look like.
http://courts.oregon.gov/polk/docs/parenting_time.pdf
Friday, May 23, 2014
Oregon Dads Connection
May 23, 2014
Oregon Dads need a place that provides lots of information and tools for their success in parenting. I will be using this blog to give lots of information to help all parents, but I would like to focus on Oregon Dads in need. If you need to contact me this is the address:
oregondadsconnection@gmail.com
I am centralized in the Salem, Oregon Area, so lots of my information will be most helpful to that area, but my searches have taken me to websites that reach well beyond my location to cities all over Oregon. My son has been considered special needs and I have information on that aspect of parenting for fathers looking for services or someone that understands those issues in parenting. I have been single most of my son's life, so I know the struggles of trying to find that someone special while being a full-time parent too.
I have done lots of researching over the past five years of being a father, and I have lots of websites, phones numbers, and tips that I can provide including some tips from my filing of custody papers to better help you in your journey as a Oregon Dad. I will slowly be posting the information I have. If you have a question or subject you would like me to cover, feel free to ask.
D.E.
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