10-4-14
About six months after the second contract was signed, my son's mother went through a period of harassment. The harassment consisted of calling several times and leaving insults on voicemails and in emails. I called the mediator when I realized there was a problem. The mediator advised my son's mother that what she was doing was inappropriate. Over the next six months, my son's mother was sort of calm, but recently she started harassing me again. This time I received numerous calls in a short period of time that started to glitch my phone because it was on call overload. I had no real choice except to call the police and see what could be done. I advised the police of the new recent insults on my voicemail and the phone call overload. The police advised me to warn the other party about their behavior because that is a requirement for the behavior to be considered harassment. Also, the police said by calling I had helped make a log and I just needed to keep the date and time for mentioning to a judge in the future because the call is recorded and the call can be reviewed. Lastly, the officer said that I could file for contempt through the courts since the behavior is most likely a violation of the contract which it is a violation.
The fact is that you don't have to put up with a tremendous amount of
disrespect and there are options available when the situation requires
you to defend yourself. I would suggest caution with how you use the
system, like make sure you have support for that the other person has
been warned. I used the mediator in the beginning and I used a carefully written email recently and it will be followed by a contempt filing
for the next outburst. I understand how hard it is to be insulted and not retaliate in order to build a stronger case against the person, but it is probably the best solution in many cases because as an old saying goes "cooler heads prevail."
I am putting this information out there because I have had to research hard to figure out how to deal with my son's mother's harassing behavior. Also, I understand this process might not be the best for everyone, but
it is to help provide some tips on how to deal with a similar
situation if you are facing one. Good luck and I will try to update or I will post on how this turns out if there are any major changes.
******Update*******
The other parent had a lawyer file for custody shortly after the letter. Shortly after I received the papers, the other parent harassed me in an email, so the matter is continuing. Although, I think the letter worked to some degree because the other parent has actually initiated a process that they will now have to explain their behavior to the judge.
My next post will discuss a little about the new case.
Oregon Dads need a site that can provide lots of information and tools for their success in parenting. I will be using this blog to give lots of information for all parents, but a I focus on trying to help Dads all over Oregon. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me: oregondadsconnection@gmail.com
Showing posts with label Salem Dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Salem Dad. Show all posts
Saturday, October 4, 2014
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Oregon Activities and Events Links
August 13, 2014
My son likes activites and I think it helps to teach children and get everyone out of the house doing something fun. I have a favorite list of sites that I use to find new and fun activities to do during the week and on weekends. I decided to provide a couple links to sites that help you find different activity places or announce events that are children centered. Good luck and I hope this helps.
Th first link below is focused on Portland:
http://www.nwkidsmagazine.com/kids-activities-and-things-to-do/
This second link is set as Eugene, Oregon; it is customizable for your city:
http://www.spenddaywithkids.com/home/placesAroundLocation?locationName=Eugene%2C+US%2C+Oregon&distance=100&orderBy=closest&_indoor=&indoor=on&_outdoor=&outdoor=on
The last link is similar to the second link, but is divided into more categories, and it is set as Grants Pass, Oregon; it is customizable to your city:
http://www.familydaysout.com/kids-things-to-do-usa/grants-pass/or/
My son likes activites and I think it helps to teach children and get everyone out of the house doing something fun. I have a favorite list of sites that I use to find new and fun activities to do during the week and on weekends. I decided to provide a couple links to sites that help you find different activity places or announce events that are children centered. Good luck and I hope this helps.
Th first link below is focused on Portland:
http://www.nwkidsmagazine.com/kids-activities-and-things-to-do/
This second link is set as Eugene, Oregon; it is customizable for your city:
http://www.spenddaywithkids.com/home/placesAroundLocation?locationName=Eugene%2C+US%2C+Oregon&distance=100&orderBy=closest&_indoor=&indoor=on&_outdoor=&outdoor=on
The last link is similar to the second link, but is divided into more categories, and it is set as Grants Pass, Oregon; it is customizable to your city:
http://www.familydaysout.com/kids-things-to-do-usa/grants-pass/or/
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Oregon Dental Help for Low Income or Uninsured
July 29.2014
Low income or unisured can be tough when it comes to dental needs. I have done my own searching to get dental discounts and help. Oregon Mission of Mercy just completed a two day free clinic in Salem and is only schedule for another one next year, so if you are looking for another option I am going to provide some links to dental clinics that offer discounts for adults and free dental work for children without insurance. The dental clinics are all over Oregon with a few in Washington if I am right. Good Luck.
This dental link I thought was the best at providing a detailed list of clinics and fees and services:
http://www.oregondental.org/custom/directory/community_access_dir.cfm
Other Dental links to help in your search:
http://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/oregon_free_dental_centers.html
http://www.freedentalcare.us/st/oregon
Low income or unisured can be tough when it comes to dental needs. I have done my own searching to get dental discounts and help. Oregon Mission of Mercy just completed a two day free clinic in Salem and is only schedule for another one next year, so if you are looking for another option I am going to provide some links to dental clinics that offer discounts for adults and free dental work for children without insurance. The dental clinics are all over Oregon with a few in Washington if I am right. Good Luck.
This dental link I thought was the best at providing a detailed list of clinics and fees and services:
http://www.oregondental.org/custom/directory/community_access_dir.cfm
Other Dental links to help in your search:
http://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/oregon_free_dental_centers.html
http://www.freedentalcare.us/st/oregon
Sunday, June 8, 2014
My Son and The Other Parent's DHS/CPS Case
June 8, 2014
In earlier posts, I have mentioned the neglect and potential abuse done to my son, and I will mention a little about my experience with CPS/DHS in this post. I was thrust into dealing with CPS when I got a call to come get my son before the Police and CPS take him. I raced over and showed up as Police were getting to the location. My son's mother was involved in an altercation with one of her other children. My son was in the middle of the fight or at least, watching and hearing a real fight between to adult sized individuals. This experience was not good for my son and highlighted what might have been normal around my son's mother's residence.
I had to hang around my son's mother's residence while CPS/DHS did their reports and I provided them with all that I knew. The residence was in turmoil and it was hard to maintain control over my son while the environment was buzzing with excitement because of all the workers. The workers with Police were all over the house to straighten it all out. At completion of the investigation, I was told to leave and make sure the mother got no unsupervised contact from that point on.
A blessing and a curse was being released with my son. My son was not part of the case against his mother which meant, I was left to defend him from her. CPS/DHS goal is to re-unite families and they bugged me to the point of forcing me to allow visits with the other family. I was told I didn't have to allow visits, but they would fight to get the siblings visits which I felt was wrong because I didn't think his siblings care even a little about my son, just trying to ruin his happiness.
In the end, CPS/DHS did tell me a lot of information before they quit dealing with my son's mother, and I ended up a friend of the worker. I never had a problem with CPS/DHS, but I do think they trapped me in bad contracts because I had no lawyer when dealing with them. Also, I think only a year of obstacles for a multiple offender is not harsh enough. Still, I thank them for helping my son's mother's household because if it were not for them, my son might still be living in a terrible situation. To further defend my son, I had to obtain a lawyer, and I will cover my second court case against the mother in my next post.
In earlier posts, I have mentioned the neglect and potential abuse done to my son, and I will mention a little about my experience with CPS/DHS in this post. I was thrust into dealing with CPS when I got a call to come get my son before the Police and CPS take him. I raced over and showed up as Police were getting to the location. My son's mother was involved in an altercation with one of her other children. My son was in the middle of the fight or at least, watching and hearing a real fight between to adult sized individuals. This experience was not good for my son and highlighted what might have been normal around my son's mother's residence.
I had to hang around my son's mother's residence while CPS/DHS did their reports and I provided them with all that I knew. The residence was in turmoil and it was hard to maintain control over my son while the environment was buzzing with excitement because of all the workers. The workers with Police were all over the house to straighten it all out. At completion of the investigation, I was told to leave and make sure the mother got no unsupervised contact from that point on.
A blessing and a curse was being released with my son. My son was not part of the case against his mother which meant, I was left to defend him from her. CPS/DHS goal is to re-unite families and they bugged me to the point of forcing me to allow visits with the other family. I was told I didn't have to allow visits, but they would fight to get the siblings visits which I felt was wrong because I didn't think his siblings care even a little about my son, just trying to ruin his happiness.
In the end, CPS/DHS did tell me a lot of information before they quit dealing with my son's mother, and I ended up a friend of the worker. I never had a problem with CPS/DHS, but I do think they trapped me in bad contracts because I had no lawyer when dealing with them. Also, I think only a year of obstacles for a multiple offender is not harsh enough. Still, I thank them for helping my son's mother's household because if it were not for them, my son might still be living in a terrible situation. To further defend my son, I had to obtain a lawyer, and I will cover my second court case against the mother in my next post.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
My Case with the Oregon Department of Justice Child Support Division
May 29, 2014
One of the parts of my story is about my case with the Department of Justice(DOJ) Child Support Division. I would like to start off by saying I never tried to fight the DOJ Child Support Division and always had a good attitude when dealing with them and my experience with the agency was good overall. Maybe the best way to put dealing with the DOJ Child Support Division is that "you give respect and you'll get respect."
Close to a year after my son's birth, I received documents stating that a case was being opened against me. By the time the documents came, I was already in the hole for thousands of dollars because the money builds even while you are unaware a case is open. The DOJ Child Support Division was sending mail everywhere looking for me. The DOJ Child Support Division sent scary statements about stopping my license or Passport and other statements, but I just read it and settled down to think about my options. I will admit that I was very worried about being on the tab for lots of money and thinking that my son's mother was just sitting there not paying anything. My son's mother was receiving the money and it was not being appropriately spent on my son, but instead on his siblings or herself. Also, I had to provide for my son when he came to visit me.
My game plan was to go to DOJ Child Support Division and explain my financial situation to them. I brought in any documents they needed to show my income and I explained my monthly bills to them and what I could afford to pay them. My payment amount was far less than what they wanted, and they did make me sign a contract that was re-viewable. I believe the payment contract was re-viewable at 3 months, 6 months and 1 year. The main point is that they were willing to work with me and they would probably be willing to work with any parent that wants to be in good standing with them. Working with the DOJ Child Support Division allowed all my legal privileges to remain the same and it did make me feel better knowing I was doing my part. Every month I walked in my payment before the due date, for several years. If I had more to give, they gladly accepted it without adjustments needed to the contract. The arrears do grow, so you are still responsible for the money that adds up, but paying as you can is helpful.
There is more to my story including that I no longer have to pay child support. A few years ago my son was given to me by the Department of Human Services, Child Protection Services and the Child Welfare Division, due to a bad living situation with his mother which is a story I will cover soon in future posts. The closing out of an account requires both parties agreement to end seeking payments and it can take over a year. I chose not to seek child support from my son's mother because I knew she was broke at the time. I understand that many other men never get to see the document I have that closed the case, I am grateful for having my son and that I get to see him enjoy everything I give him, the time spent with him and that i get to ensure he has proper care on a daily basis.
One of the parts of my story is about my case with the Department of Justice(DOJ) Child Support Division. I would like to start off by saying I never tried to fight the DOJ Child Support Division and always had a good attitude when dealing with them and my experience with the agency was good overall. Maybe the best way to put dealing with the DOJ Child Support Division is that "you give respect and you'll get respect."
Close to a year after my son's birth, I received documents stating that a case was being opened against me. By the time the documents came, I was already in the hole for thousands of dollars because the money builds even while you are unaware a case is open. The DOJ Child Support Division was sending mail everywhere looking for me. The DOJ Child Support Division sent scary statements about stopping my license or Passport and other statements, but I just read it and settled down to think about my options. I will admit that I was very worried about being on the tab for lots of money and thinking that my son's mother was just sitting there not paying anything. My son's mother was receiving the money and it was not being appropriately spent on my son, but instead on his siblings or herself. Also, I had to provide for my son when he came to visit me.
My game plan was to go to DOJ Child Support Division and explain my financial situation to them. I brought in any documents they needed to show my income and I explained my monthly bills to them and what I could afford to pay them. My payment amount was far less than what they wanted, and they did make me sign a contract that was re-viewable. I believe the payment contract was re-viewable at 3 months, 6 months and 1 year. The main point is that they were willing to work with me and they would probably be willing to work with any parent that wants to be in good standing with them. Working with the DOJ Child Support Division allowed all my legal privileges to remain the same and it did make me feel better knowing I was doing my part. Every month I walked in my payment before the due date, for several years. If I had more to give, they gladly accepted it without adjustments needed to the contract. The arrears do grow, so you are still responsible for the money that adds up, but paying as you can is helpful.
There is more to my story including that I no longer have to pay child support. A few years ago my son was given to me by the Department of Human Services, Child Protection Services and the Child Welfare Division, due to a bad living situation with his mother which is a story I will cover soon in future posts. The closing out of an account requires both parties agreement to end seeking payments and it can take over a year. I chose not to seek child support from my son's mother because I knew she was broke at the time. I understand that many other men never get to see the document I have that closed the case, I am grateful for having my son and that I get to see him enjoy everything I give him, the time spent with him and that i get to ensure he has proper care on a daily basis.
Friday, May 23, 2014
Oregon Dads Connection
May 23, 2014
Oregon Dads need a place that provides lots of information and tools for their success in parenting. I will be using this blog to give lots of information to help all parents, but I would like to focus on Oregon Dads in need. If you need to contact me this is the address:
oregondadsconnection@gmail.com
I am centralized in the Salem, Oregon Area, so lots of my information will be most helpful to that area, but my searches have taken me to websites that reach well beyond my location to cities all over Oregon. My son has been considered special needs and I have information on that aspect of parenting for fathers looking for services or someone that understands those issues in parenting. I have been single most of my son's life, so I know the struggles of trying to find that someone special while being a full-time parent too.
I have done lots of researching over the past five years of being a father, and I have lots of websites, phones numbers, and tips that I can provide including some tips from my filing of custody papers to better help you in your journey as a Oregon Dad. I will slowly be posting the information I have. If you have a question or subject you would like me to cover, feel free to ask.
D.E.
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